All my life I’ve been a goal setter. I think it’s time to change that. Too many times what I think of as goals and aspirations are actually dreams. I’m better off setting a deadline for myself if I want to do more than dream it, but achieve it. But there’s one thing that I never put on my list of goals, until I realized it was the most important thing.
Welcome to this week’s Marketing For Romance Writer’s 52-Week Blog Challenge. The prompt for today is “Ten Years from Now…” I admit it; I’m obsessed by the concept of time. Every song that dwells on the passing of time fills me with melancholy.
I plan out almost every minute of the day so that I barely have time to breathe. Over scheduling and overwhelming myself with all the things I should, could and maybe would do if I only had the time. Each day ends with me falling short of achieving everything on the list. Perhaps this gives me the incentive to repeat the cycle each day. But sometimes it just make me tired.
Dreams of Happiness
I can tell you my dream life for ten years from now. It’s the same
thing I’ve dreamed about for years. Being able to give all my attention to my fiction writing. Granted, I’ve gotten closer to that goal/dream/fantasy over the years, but there is still a way to go, plus it only gives a part of the big picture.
A few years ago I decided my goals should be replaced by deadlines when I realized there was one key element in all of my goals. Happiness.
- If I only lost # of pounds I’d be happier
- If this month was over I’d be happier
- If I finished this WIP I’d be happier
- If I exercised more I’d be happier
- Fill in the blank—happier
But in all of these goals and dreams I was wishing my life away. Why wasn’t I enjoying what makes me happy now? The grass isn’t always greener and the years aren’t always kinder. Perhaps this year is the high point of the decade, but I won’t notice because I’m too busy planning for the future.
I wasn’t enjoying today. I was planning to enjoy the future and wasting these precious hours. I’ve come to realize that time speeds up, and I get slower, so it rushes by far too quickly. I see that in my girls. When I look back ten years ago I see how they’ve grown in the blink of an eye. The years bring changes in my family and friends.
The More Things Change, The More They Stay the Same
Yet when I look at my past goals I notice that many carried over the years without changing. There are other changes in my life that I never anticipated happening—both good and bad. One thing is for sure, I’ve tried to stop looking into that crystal ball. Unless it’s for one of the characters in my stories.
I don’t know exactly what I will be doing ten years from now. Or if it will fit with that author fantasy world that lives in my, and most authors, minds. Hopefully it will come close. But more than that I hope to be happy.
- That in ten years I will have stopped dwelling on what could be different, or better, and enjoy each wonderful day.
- That I will publish my books faster once I have conquered my fears and doubts in pleasing my harshest critic—me.
- That I won’t worry about the little things, because that’s all they are.
Our lives are all a work in progress, but I prefer to enjoy the journey and find the magic in each day, and seek happiness.
great minds and goal makers think alike!
Happiness should definitely be the end goal for all of us. Sadly, I think it’s part of the human condition to not be content, to always seek more. I hope you can always be as happy as Scruff (love that picture!)!
Scruff is a good role model for not sweating the small stuff 🙂
Your post really hit home for me. Several years ago, I realized I couldn’t even tell you which childhood diseases my kids had because I’d been too busy worrying about the future to really be in the moment. I’ve made a concerted effort to be present with my grandkids, but sometimes it’s still a struggle. Worry is easy. Being joyful in the moment is hard, but much more rewarding 🙂
I agree, Sherry, it’s so hard to let go of planning for the future and just look around at today.
Amen, writing sister!
Great post Maureen! This week’s question wasn’t easy to answer. I don’t plan, so trying to look ahead that far was no easy task. Live in the now for the most part. My kids are still young, I want to enjoy them now. School just started and watching them leave and walk to the bus stop by themselves for the first time was one of those moments I couldn’t have planned for.
Great post! Thank you for making me think. Sometimes we need to hear someone else say something in order for us to get it. yeah, if I would lose # pounds, . . . I’d be happier if . . . . we have to stop doing this to ourselves. This has been the hardest part for me these past few months, staying positive.
I will agree that my wishlist is just that, a wish list of dreams not really goals. WE need to enjoy our lives now! Live now!
Wow, what a great post! I would like to reprint this in my magazine…if you are interested?
Wow, thank you Darlene! That would be wonderful. 🙂
Everyone hopes for that peace of mind and happiness, but we all define it differently. I hope that there is a balance that you can achieve and you enjoy life! Great post!
So much truth here! Great post, Maureen!
I haven’t yet gotten over being my own worst critic, and I’m pretty sure I never will. I wish I could churn out twice as many books as I do, but that’s who I am. Good luck with your goals!